iNever Meant To
by redvelvetjade
Summary: A ordinary day one mistake and Carly Sam and Freddie learn what it feels like to lose everything...one shot


**ididn't Mean To**

_I sit here in my cell as I reflect_

_Back to all the days of yesterdays_

_And I wonder did you know _

_Time was Gonna be so short?_

_Was there a warning that I didn't hear?_

_Cuz if so I need to know_

_Why did you let me go?_

_We use to fight so hard I was always so much tougher_

_I use to call you a nub _

_You retaliated but we both know you were never any match for my fast wit_

_I Never expected you to go so soon _

_Damn it's just not fair_

_I swear I never hated you_

_Cuz when I said those words _

_I thought you knew it was just our code_

_For " I Love You"_

_But now I sit here with endless days _

_And I wonder Did you really know?_

_Tears are rolling down_

_My face should I be ashamed?_

_Too tough to cry_

_Puckett's Never show weakness_

_Bur dammit I never expected to lose my other half of seddie _

_You always said you would be here forever_

_But Forever's still here and you already came and went_

_Where did you go?_

_Where do angel's fly to?_

_Please come back _

_I swear I'll never call you a nub why does it always seem_

_That only the good die young and the bad we are left here to carry on_

_Forever sayin Good-bye's to our homies?_

_I would give anything to trade places_

_Please know I never meant to hurt you _

_Time moves on but my memory is never erased by that one mistake_

_If I could go back and rearrange_

_I never meant to change to get swallowed up by _

_The money hungry for power I left my common sense in the dust _

_I didn't think it was just another ordinary day _

_But it didn't end that way and now I'm left here with only_

_Your name without your smiling face _

_It wasn't suppose to be that way we were so young_

_We were in our glory days we had our finest hours_

_We were so bad and yet we were so good_

_We were young and carefree we lived for the moments_

_We had it all planned out we were suppose to grow up _

_Graduate from Ridgeway you with honors me jus scrappin by rapping _

_My way to the roads of victory with money and fame_

_Yea we had our dreams _

_Go to collage study hard work towards our futures_

_But destiny had other plans and now I'm left here _

_Wondering Why why did it go down the way it did _

_Did I miss a sign could we have prevented this day?_

_You always believed in me I was your lil star now you shed so many tears_

_Two homies gone by one 's mistake_

_Did I ever stop to think about your pain when I was beating you down?_

_Was I really a bully like they said? _

_I never thought of what I did_

_It was just normal for me but they said it was torture and they called me a animal_

_But you have to know _

_I never meant to hurt you and when I said I hated you _

_It was just a code for_

_I love you..._

_I wish I could go back to that day and hold you in my arms_

_I wouldn't hit you I swear I would like to have that chance to tell you_

_I loved You..._

_But we can't go back no matter how many tears we shed or how often we plead_

_Life doesn't work like that we are just left to carry on and remember _

_Our one mistake will it be the one that seals our fate comes _

_Judgment day?_

" S_o Puckett what you write today?_

_Nothing Jefferson mind yours_

I growled damn this was one of the many reasons I effing hated prison no privacy no respect …

_Aw did lil Sammie write a love letter? _

_Let mamma see_

Another reason everyone thought they were someone's Momma . Before I could react she lunged my fighter instincts took over shoving it down my bra. I jumped back and brought my knee up to meet her chest she groaned as she hit the ground but wasted no time in getting up and clawing at me. She grabbed my hair and tried to beat me down but I wasn't gonna let no one beat me, I scratched and punched her fist got me in my stomach and head. I bit her and slapped her soon a crowd had gathered around and were chanting_ Fight! Fight! Fight ! _I knew they would be taking bets on who would win. They better be betting on me cause she was going down no one disrespects me and lives to tell about it. Blood was all over the place her nose was broke I knew it as soon as my fist collided with it she groaned as I kicked her beating her.

_Puckett here use this! _

I didn't even look I just grabbed as my girl Jennie threw it to me I felt it slide into my hand and wasted no time in bashing the sock with a lock in it over her head repeatedly she was fighting back biting and scratching hitting and kicking and she got a few good ones in stupid chick was getting on my last nerve. I needed to finish her off , I had to be quick cause the guards around here they don't mess.

Within minutes they were on me screaming at me to stop but I couldn't it was rage pure animal rage that swept through me. Blood was now sprouting from open head wounds as tear gas was shot into the yard but it didn't stop me I just kept pounding ...warning shouts rung out

The other prisoners scurried into potions in seconds hands behind their heads single file line up as I was pulled off my victim. Guards surrounded us too many to even count. I was thrown on the ground my arms roughly yanked back as I was cuffed and screamed at but I was in another world as I tried to fight them off I must of kicked one because the next thing I knew .I was tasered my body jumped in shock until it relaxed and I was numbed unable to move or scream they yanked me up like a old rag doll and 6 guards carried me to my new cell in the Administrative Segregation Unit Aka A. S .U , my body was still numb as I was thrown on the bed I couldn't even tell what was being said to me..

My head was hurting as I looked around where was I ? Why Was I here? .. the bright lights were hurting my eyes ..I was confused why was I so lifeless? Then I remember and I wonder is this how it felt to die? Sighing I sat up slowly the room was spinning and I was hungry so very hungry. My eyes adjusted as I looked around taking in my surroundings 10 by 10 cell No windows

a toilet was in the corner...nothing else my left leg was shackled to the bed unable to move two guards stood outside watching me ...laying back I closed my eyes sighing...

_Was it my fault _

_I was the victim of a parent less system_

_Yea maybe lookin back I played the game_

_Pass the blame I said it was your fault with each passing blow_

_With each one of your groans I felt a sickened twisted pleasure _

_So am I psychotic? Am I beyond redemption? _

_Was I responsible for my choices?_

_Was it a little helper that lead me astray from my own mind?_

_Who's to blame for my actions?_

_Who should pay the consequences of my crimes?_

_Was it really me? Was it the LSD leading me to places in my mind_

_I would of never ventured otherwise? _

_Stupid choices I wish I could change our past_

_If god granted me the serenity to make a change_

_I would in a flash_

_Change the past ..God grant me one wish..but life it ain't working like that..._

_Hey Nub..._

I heard you groan which gave me such intense pleasure. I could almost feel your fear the satisfaction was so sweet. I grinned and rubbed my fists together.

_Sam..._

Carly warned me she stood in her kitchen chopping fruit as I lay on the couch eating potato chips and fat cakes with root beer.

You came in wearing a polka dotted dress shirt which was bright red with yellow dots, gray khaki's and a pair of black suspenders. Crazy was behind him yelling ..

_Freddie Darlin Don't forget your Rash Cream _

_Remember the Doctor said to apply it after you shower _

_And after you wi..._

_MOM! I got it I'm fine!_

That was all it took for me to roll on the floor in hysteria pointing at him your face was red and you looked pissed.

_Sam..._

Carly tried to be stern but she was having a hard time keeping a straight face as You were standing there crossing your arms..

_Make sure you wash yourself with antibacterial soap _

_And always Wipe after you... _

_MOM! Stop!_

You chased Crazy out the door as I grabbed my stomach from laughing so hard. Tears were rolling down my face...

_Look Carls the circus is in town_

_Destin the clown escaped_

_Oh No Calls The physic ward!_

You grumbled

_Knock it off Puckett!_

Trying to loosen the top button you looked itchy I stood up glaring.

_Or what Benson?_

_Are you going to do something?_

_Oh wait let me guess or are you going to get your unicycle _

_And clown me to death _

_Oh no I'm scared look Momma's shaking!_

I made my knees wobble Carly laughed but shouted at me

_Sam stop!_

I loved seeing her laugh but I had to argue back..

_Aw come on Carls the nub just asks for it_

Your mouth hung open as you exclaimed

_How do I ask to be beating everyday and mocked?_

Rolling my eyes I answered

_Cause your just so nubby_

_I mean come on just look_

I waved my hand over your outfit you answered through gritted teeth..

_My mom made it for me in her _

_Aggressive Parenting classes_

_She thought it would keep me as her little boy_

_Longer_

_Okay so just stop_

You really expected me to stop?

_I can't Nub I mean unless you plan to start a clown training class_

_At school then go straight ahead_

You looked at me dead in my eyes as you grumbled

_At least if I start a class I know kids at school will_

_Come since I'm smart enough to run it!_

_The only thing you can run is a cell block _

_In The Seattle Juvenile Correctional Facility _

_I mean if you sleep with the whole judicial system you can.._

_BENSON I AM GONING TO KILL YOU!_

_I Hate You _

_Sam No We have School!_

I barelyheard Carly as I attacked you and you screamed like a little girl you tried to fight me off..I knocked you down ,hitting you , kicking you ,snapping your suspenders while pinching your nipples with tweezers.

I kicked you in your groin as you held it groaning screaming for me to stop. Carly pulled me off as I was in the middle of a blinding rage she held me back . Damn when did she get so strong? She was screaming at me to stop begging me her hands wrapped around my arms I couldn't get free her face was pressed to mine.

_Lookie Lookie What I made !_

Spencer came running in jumping up and down holding what looked like a pile of mud sculpted into well I wasn't sure what it was suppose to be...You sat up glaring at me …

_Uh what is suppose to be Spence?_

He looked at Carly and in that moment she loosened her grip I took off and kicked you in your face you fell back making a goofy face as you smacked your head on the table...

_I'm not Sure Carly that's the beautiful thing_

Carly looked at him as she said

_Yea uh great bro we need to go to …_

_SAM! Stop Your hurting him!_

_What have I told you about hurting Freddie _

_With Random Acts of Violence?_

I grumbled as once again she grabbed me

_It's wrong and illegal_

_Blah blah blah _

She patted my head

_Good Girl _

You stare at her in disbelief and amazement with a hint of longing

_She hits me and she gets good girl?_

Carly grins as she replies

_Aw Freddie you know she does it out of love_

_No she does it cause she's pure evil_

_I hate you Sam!_

Carly rolled her eyes as she asked

_Will you two stop fighting? We have to get to school _

_Freddie get up you want ice?_

You hesitate should you say something? But face it you can't argue with her cause you are still in love with her

_Yes please it hurts a lot!_

I muttered

_Wimp _

_Sick twisted demon _

You fired back

_Thanks Freddweeb_

You say it like it's a insult

_Hey Fredwart_

I heard that grunt you made

_What you evil spawn?_

I took my gun out and whacked you in the back of your head with the end...You fell yelping Carly screamed.

_SAM! _

_That's it line up _

_Aw Carls.._

I pouted she shock her head and ordered me

_I said line up spread your legs..._

I sighed as she searched me once she was satisfied she handed me my backpack

_Apologize to him _

_No he's a nub_

She looked at me sternly hands on her hips you grinned ..

_Yea princess Puckett _

_Get on your hands and knee's_

You looked at me as if you would enjoy seeing me ask for your forgiveness

_Freddie stop !_

You looked up at her with your eyes transfixed on her like you wanted to reach up and pull her into a deep kiss..

_Yea Freddumb _

I mocked you...

_Aw btw Freddork grow up she'll never love you!_

_She may one day! I'll never stop hoping!_

_Loser.._

_Sam that's not nice_

_She's Evil Carly I'm trying to tell ya!_

_Let's go you two Sam on my left Freddie on my right_

_No fighting you two_

It was 2 hours later you were holding your head glaring at me..as we stood in the gym waiting for Mr. Keller to come in.

_God why do we have to go here every day?_

_This place is so boring!_

_Well Samantha we go here to learn cause you see_

_Those of us with Brains actually want to _

_Expand those brains by filling them with knowledge_

_Which we will then use to better ourselves with in the future_

_I mean I know you can't understand that Puckett_

_I mean your only ambitions in life are to eat through the entire state of Washington_

_And to have a cell in every Juvie hall in Seattle_

_Shut it Benson you don't know me I have plenty of Dreams and Ambitions_

_You stand there so smug and wanna criticize me _

_But Damn you cause you don't understand a thing about me _

_I dream of flying of blazin away _

_How can it be lil me who barley passes by with D's throw down_

_Like the best of em mc's _

_You wanna say what you wanna say but you don't wanna open your eyes and see _

_What's right in front of your face _

_I can be the best you eva seen _

_The look on your face when someday _

_I blow by ya my name's in lights_

_Shining over your shocked face_

_Cause I will be selling out arenas world city tours_

_They say fear is when you really shine_

_Well I ain't got fears cause I know Me myself and thine_

_I know my talents shine bright _

_So eff you and your criticism _

_I came here cause I wanna fight and when I fight _

_I fight to win I fight for survival cause _

_I ain't got no one to watch my back_

_It's me myself and I _

_Me Me Me yea and only me _

_I will fly higher _

_So take your nay's cause I will make it all the way_

The whole class stood there watching as I tore You down with my rap . Carly snickered she knows my secrets and she knows my skills ..when I stopped everyone applauded our teacher came in and was not however impressed I earned a weeks detention.

He sent us and Carly to the rope station she completed in in no time. You went next and you were struggling to get up arms shaking . I looked around to watch to see if anyone would notice if I slipped out and got above the rope to cut it . Then I noticed Carly's arm was looped around mine I scowled she would never believe any story to get out..

_You can't do it nub give up!_

_Shut it Puckett!_

_Sam that wasn't nice_

_Yea it was Carls he needs motivation_

_If he's pissed at me he'll wanna get up and _

_Down faster so he can try to kill me_

_Sam your logic lacks..._

_FREDDIE!_

Our classmates screamed now what did you do nub? I felt a breeze blow by me and a flash of our school colors , What the? Then I saw you ..you were laying by our feet motionless everyone was screaming and the numbers 911 were shouted to be called . Mr. Keller was giving you CPR...you were pale too pale...what was wrong with you?

We were at the hospital Crazy was screaming

_What's wrong with my precious baby boy!_

I felt sick Carly was in my lap crying. I was stroking her hair trying to calm her down it wasn't working she was scared we both were Spencer was talking to Crazy trying to calm her down..the doctor came out..

_I'm sorry Marisa but it seems_

_Freddie suffered from acute S__ubdural Hematoma _

_Which caused a Brain Aneurysm to rapture_

_Somewhere in the last day or two he suffered a Serve head trauma_

_Which resulted in the Aneurysm bursting _

_He died before he hit the gym floor_

_Did you know he had his head earlier?_

_No my baby was fine when he left to go to.._

_YOU! What did you do to my son!_

She attacked Carly , Spencer jumped in front of his sister she was shaking as Crazy was screaming at her..

_It should have been you trouble!_

_You should have been hit by that Taco truck_

_Then my Freddie wouldn't be laying here dead! _

_I want her arrested she knows! _

_She knows who did this!_

_It's not her fault I did it I hit Freddie!_

Carly turned to me eyes wide as Crazy set her sight on me...

She called the cops that night Freddie they asked Carly question after questions they made me out to be a monster but I'm not am I? They took her statement they gathered evidence they used your x-rays ...they called it Aggravated Battery, they charged me with possession of a deadly weapon possession of a unlicensed firearm they got me on illegal substance abuse and possession of illegal narcotics .

Spencer hired an amazing lawyer but I pleaded guilty I was wasn't I? Carly was pissed I didn't even fight but what was the point? I went a little crazy after you died. I was a killer a murder I didn't deserve to live free after what I did , did I ? They sentenced me 15-21 years . I have to serve a year and half in Seattle Juvenile Hall then I am being transferred after I turn 18 in 5 weeks time to a Maximum Adult Prison...I made a mistake in my youth and you paid the price for...

_I never meant to..._

_How was I suppose to know _

_That this day would be so different then all of our yesterdays_

_Can I tell ya a secret? _

_When I said I hated ya it was just a code_

_For I Love you"_

_I didn't know till her Jasper eyes cried crystal tears_

_She confined in me but it's too late now _

_Damn how was I suppose to know_

_I stole your heart to_

_I was only 16 too young to know_

_What love looked like_

_She tells me that when you said you hated me_

_It Was just a code for_

_I love you to..._

_I never knew _

_I hope you know _

_I never meant to..._

**A/N so I got the idea for this one shot yesterday when I was reading about one life to live's Matthew and what was happening to him they were talking about the death of actress Natasha Richardson and how it raised awareness to the subject of brain injuries I thought about how****kids rough house everyday how easy it would be to accidentally fall and hit your head how would the kid feel knowing he killed his friend? I thought if Sam and Freddie right away and it screamed one shot...so here it is hope everyone enjoys please review their like Crystals and diamonds to me..if you didn't know I own icarly and everything else Dan Wrap just thinks he owns I let him live in his fantasy world while I write fanfiction haha yea right nice dream huh? I own nothing icarly related expect this rap/ song which I hope isn't too awful since I am not a rapper just a rap fan. **

**Peace follow me on twitter mileycfan4eva**

**if you play farmville on facebook add me cherie friedman..**

**For more information on Brain injuries and aneurysms go to **

**.com/**


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